Why hagar despise sarai

In the case of these female slaves, who are the personal property of his lady, being purchased before her marriage or given as a special present to her, no one can become the husband's secondary wife without her mistress consent or permission. This usage seems to have prevailed in patriarchal times; and Hagar, Sarai's slave, of whom she had the entire right of disposing, was given by her mistress' spontaneous offer, to be the secondary wife of Abram, in the hope of obtaining the long-looked-for heir.

It was a wrong step—indicating a want of simple reliance on God—and Sarai was the first to reap the bitter fruits of her device. The formality of the marriage being over, he enjoyed her as his wife, and she immediately conceived by him: and when she saw that she had conceived; when she perceived that she was with child: her mistress was despised in her eyes; she thought herself above her, and treated her as her inferior, with contempt, and reproached her for her barrenness, as Peninnah did Hannah, 1 Samuel ; and it was the more ungrateful, as it was at the motion of her mistress that she was given to Abram for wife.

Pulpit Commentary Verse 4. And she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes. As Hannah by Peninnah 1 Samuel ; barrenness among the Hebrews having been regarded as a dishonor and reproach Genesis ; Genesis , 23 ; Leviticus , and fecundity as a special mark of the Divine favor Genesis ; Genesis ; Exodus ; Deuteronomy Whether Hagar imagined Sarai to be through her barrenness "tanquam a Divino promisso repudiatam" Lyra , or anticipated Sarai's displacement from her position as Abram s wife Inglis , she, immediately on perceiving her condition, became insolent cf.

Proverbs Genesis Keil and Delitzsch Biblical Commentary on the Old Testament As the promise of a lineal heir Genesis did not seem likely to be fulfilled, even after the covenant had been made, Sarai resolved, ten years after their entrance into Canaan, to give her Egyptian maid Hagar to her husband, that if possible she might "be built up by her," i. The resolution seemed a judicious one, and according to the customs of the East, there would be nothing wrong in carrying it out.

Hence Abraham consented without opposition, because, as Malachi Malachi says, he sought the seed promised by God. He knew, deep down, that God had intended the son to come not only through him, but also through his wife Sarai.

Though she implanted the idea in his mind, it was he who sinned, and he who should have known better. Abram cannot blame Sarai even as Adam tried to blame Eve.

And you know, even though Eve did sin first, and even though Sarai did tempt Abram to this sin, I am of the persuasion that God holds the husband at fault for the sins of the wife. Maybe not completely, because she has her own will and makes her own decisions, but I am convinced that to one degree or another, God holds the husband accountable for the actions, behavior and decisions of the wife.

But after five years, she is responding to how her husband treats her. Abram and Sarai have been married much longer than five years, and she is right in blaming their current crisis on him. So she told Abram to go sleep with Hagar. I love you. God will provide for you. I will stay faithful to you. And in verse 5, Sarai rightly accuses Abram. But Abram is a wily character, and in verse 6 he scoots away from his responsibility and makes another mistake.

Abram should have been the one to deal with Hagar. He should have been the one to provide for her, and protect her. Sure, it probably was not the best idea to keep her around, but he should have taken responsibility for his actions, admitted his fault to his wife, and to Hagar, and then sent Hagar off with enough money and possessions to live and provide for herself.

Maybe he should have provided a husband for Hagar. But Abram does none of this. We always want to ignore the sin, and avoid the consequences, and never assume responsibility for our actions. We like to sweep the sin under the rug, and let those we have hurt suffer for our neglect. This is what happens with Sarai and Hagar. Abrams tells Sarai in verse 6 to do whatever she wants with Hagar. So Sarai starts to abuse and deal harshly with Hagar. Hagar was despising Sarai, so Sarai abused Hagar.

Maybe she beat Hagar. Maybe she put too many demands on Hagar. Maybe she withheld food from Hagar so that Hagar was weak and tired while pregnant. Abram should have seen how bad the abuse was getting, and intervened, but again, he was trying to avoid the consequences of his sin, and he allowed a woman to be abused because of it.

But God, the righteous and just judge, always sees the plight of the abused and the forsaken, and though Abram has not provided for Hagar, God does. Now the Angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, by the spring on the way to Shur.

When they get to the spring, they found the water was bitter, and so it was called Marah, which means bitter Exodus Down in verse 14, we learn where this spring is, and what Hagar names it, but as far as I can tell, nobody really knows where the spring is exactly, so the possibility remains that it is the same spring the Israelites come to hundreds of years later when they flee Egypt.

There in Exodus 15, God makes the bitter spring sweet by having Moses cast a tree into the water near Shur. She has been mistreated, abused, and dealt with unjustly.

Probably, she is on her way back to Egypt. On her way, the Angel of the Lord appears to her. I personally think that the Angel of the Lord in the Old Testament is a preincarnate Jesus Christ, but I cannot be dogmatic about that.

Whoever it is, He speaks to her in Genesis He knows where she is going, and where she has come from. He asks her because He wants to see if she knows, and if she will be honest. He also wants to provide direction to her. But the thing I love most about verse 8 is that He calls her by name. This is significant, because up to this point in chapter 16, nobody has spoken to her or about her by name. Abram and Sarai think of Hagar as a slave, a foreigner, a possession, someone to be used, and abused, and mistreated and neglected.

But God looks upon her as a person. He knows her name. He speaks to her gently. Abram and Sarai may have looked upon her as expendable, and an expedient way to have children, but God sees her differently.

He knows her true needs. He cares for her as a person. When others may ignore you and mistreat you and abuse you, never forget that God sees and He knows, and He cares. He wants to show Hagar that He cares for her, and so He asks her the lead in question in verse 8. Hagar answers at the end of Genesis Notice that she only answers one of the questions, and that not very well.

She is vague about why she is fleeing, or where she is fleeing. Maybe she feels guilty about what she is doing. Even back then, it was not right to run away from your master. He just gently corrects her and tells her what to do.

This is not the advice Hagar wanted to hear. The treatment she had received from Sarai was horrible. The last thing she wanted to do was go back and submit herself to such inhumane treatment. But that is what God is telling her to do. There, God tells bondservants to obey their masters, to serve them as if they were serving God, to respect them, and submit to them Eph. Not popular advice these days. Not popular advice ever. Of course, there are instructions in Ephesians for the masters, the employers, as well.

Ephesians 5 and 6 contains instructions for three primary relationships — our marriage, our families, and our jobs. Husbands are to love their wives, wives to respect and submit to their husbands. Children are to obey their parents, and parents must not provoke their children, but train them.

Servants must obey their masters and masters must treat servants right. And most of us think that these relationships work both ways. I have horrible working conditions. My benefits are lousy. My boss hates me. Look how poorly they work! You see, everybody thinks that our behavior toward others depend on how they treat us. But that is completely backwards. The Bible says that we should treat others the way we would want to be treated if we were them.

Men, love your wives whether she submits to you and respects you or not. Wives, submit to and respect your husband whether he deserves it or not. Children, obey your parents, even if they are unreasonable. Employees, obey your boss and work hard for him no matter what.

Boss, manager, employer, treat your employees with the respect and salary and benefits you think you deserve. All of these relationships are just like what we saw previously in Genesis God did not meet Abram half way. Others believe that it refers to the surrogate sitting on the lap of the adoptive mother during both insemination and birth.

But it certainly is a reasonable possibility. This proved beyond all doubt the failure to provide a son to Abram was the fault of Sarai, not her husband. In a culture that so highly valued childbearing, mothering the child of a wealthy and influential man like Abram gave a servant girl like Hagar greater status, and made her appeared more blessed than Sarai.

This is a good reminder that results are not enough to justify what we do before God. Doing things in the flesh may get results, and we may be sorry we got them. Whatever a man or woman attempts to do without God will be a miserable failure — or an even more miserable success.

When she saw that she had conceived, her mistress became despised in her eyes : Hagar immediately began to think of herself as better and greater than Sarai. A bad situation became worse. I gave my maid into your embrace; and when she saw that she had conceived, I became despised in her eyes.

The LORD judge between you and me. My wrong be upon you : Sarai blamed the whole situation on Abram, and for good cause. Indeed your maid is in your hand; do to her as you please : Abram seemed to make a bad situation worse by turning the situation over to Sarai and not taking care of the child he was father to. Yet in this, he also put his relationship with Sarai first, and that was good. These terribly complicated and difficult family situations often arise out of our disobedience.

All things considered, it is much easier to live life trusting in and obedient unto the LORD. God wants to spare us from these complications and difficulties. Even with nowhere to go, she fled from her presence — probably headed back to Egypt, her original home. Perhaps she was afraid to go further and leave this supply of water. Later in the text, it shows that Hagar understood that this physically-present Person was God Himself.

When God Himself is physically present, we understand that it is a pre-incarnate appearance of Jesus Christ. We understand this because of God the Father it says: No one has seen God at any time. Therefore, if God physically appeared and spoke as one Person to another in the Old Testament, we understand this as an appearance of the eternal Son, the Second Person of the Trinity, before His incarnation in Bethlehem.

The Angel of the LORD first appeared to a single mother-to-be who had a pride problem and was mistreated by the woman who put her into the whole mess. Remembering those two questions would save us from a lot of trouble. Hagar thought she knew: I come from the most terrible place ever. Return to your mistress, and submit yourself under her hand : The Angel of the Lord told her to repent. If she changed her direction, there was an inherent promise — obey Me and I will protect you.

What sins did Abram and Sarai commit in these verses? That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Genesis What were the immediate and long-term results of trying to gain something good through sin? The immediate result that Sarai faced is suffering and despised by Hagar.